I’ve been married for 7 years. I love him.
Bonus video commentary:
This is the most stunning, hauntingly beautiful song I’ve ever heard. We sat outside under the stars and I listened to it over, and over, and over again.
This morning I woke up from a dream that should have been sad. Months ago & I would’ve been devastated, all that work, back to the start. But it’s just a dream.
Just a bad dream.
I want my life to be a movie.
With a great soundtrack.
(Well… it does often).
I want huge plot twists — scenery changes, great lighting. Character development. Amazing casting.
Or, hey — even a commercial, I’m not picky. With a catchy tune, trendy highly marketable message.
I want bright and shiny. Colorful.
Today is weird. This song is making me daydream in illustrations. Off to the gym then.
I feel lost. He reminds me who I am.
I feel alone. He is right there.
I feel overwhelmed. He takes care of me.
I am taken aback by how much he loves me.
Even when he doesn’t even know I am hurting. He makes me feel better.
Now I’ve got my coffee, and I’m out of bed. It’s sunny outside, and while there’s much more I should be doing, I’m ok just sitting here for a moment. I feel overwhelmed, but he makes life easier. I love him. I am so lucky to be here. I won’t ever understand what I did to deserve it. But he loves me unconditionally.
It’s his 30th birthday tomorrow. I’ve known him every year of his 20′s. I loved him from the beginning, all this time, the ups and downs. This has been my favorite year — 29. Next year will be even better. I am so excited for what’s to come. I love you so much babes.
Happy birthday-celebration week!!
I’m back. Or rather, I’m home. Or really, I’ve been home since late Monday — flying back home alone, driving myself back home from the airport, sick. When you’re sick, and have to fly, and have to drive yourself home from the airport, you really start to rethink your life choices. As in — why didn’t I just pay for a towncar? Or, is there something I’ve done in my life that makes people not offer a ride? Lol that’s my fault, really — just stubborn, won’t ask for help. Really though, I think I’ll take a break from flying for a bit. I forget how much I dislike airports. I love new places. I love exploring, and planning, and just taking it in. I want to see so much. And I love being in the air. Just not everything else about traveling.
Anyway, so we’re home — and by we, I mean me — Lee flies in later today, which was supposed to be later Friday, so I’m grateful for that. I really am sick — which is starting to feel like a joke; I was that person who scoffed at everyone else getting sick all the time, I didn’t get sick even once over the last 10+ years, and now twice in 6 months, I’m just really not entertained. I don’t like being sick. I don’t do well. I haven’t showered, I just now put on pants, someone still has to pick up the held-mail, and I haven’t been to the store even for OJ and 7-up yet, let alone food. I have – water. Water is something.
Getting sick on a long-weekend trip is a terrible thing. It’s just not fair. It’s not enough time to get sick! Actually it was pretty funny. We’ve been in Southern California (Boeing has locations across the street from the Naval Station in Seal Beach, how funny) and I so wanted to do the Disney thing — so we went Friday (I flew in on Thursday afternoon, Lee was already there) — and we went in the morning, and then again late after Lee had work dinner obligations. Then Saturday we started early, all day — hard, all day. I was 240 steps short of 30k on my fitbit — almost 13 miles of walking. We were so tired — talking like 6:30 am wake-up and 12:30am return shuttle drop-off. And Sunday I wake up, sick. I didn’t know I was sick. I wake up with a terrible sore throat, thinking it’s allergies. My whole body is sore, and I’m slow moving, but we just must be still tired from yesterday, so we go out for breakfast, and I have no appetite, I just feel lousy, and I think — I’m old (cue to scene). This is what it must feel like. 1.5 days at Disneyland, old.
(I feel a little better now — marginally — knowing I’m actually sick).
So anyway. Sunday we actually cut our day short, after mostly just sitting around enjoying the nice weather & trying not to feel too lousy — didn’t watch the fireworks, actually went back to the hotel around 8pm and took a nap before watching GoT on our free hotel HBO. Monday Lee drove us out to where he used to live for 3 years in the Navy, and we had breakfast, and it was wonderful. And I was definitely sick. And got the sweetest sunburn ever, after changing from t-shirt to sundress in the back of the car (but not before I got a little burnt already) so I’ve got this mid-arm pale skin, neck and forearms burn design thing going on. You’ll just have to trust me, it’s super sweet. I’m going to get neck wrinkles. Exciting.
Umm anyway, I’m on 12-hour extended release (extended relief? — now I can’t remember) something or other and feeling a little drugged out. I still had a great getaway and sorry I got sick, but I guess rather there than here, and at least I wasn’t sick for the whole time. Now is when I hate being sick the most though — so much work to do, to make up for the long weekend off, but can hardly see the screen through my bleary eyes. I didn’t even try yesterday — in fact, all I did yesterday was watch the new season of OITNB (official summary – “eh”) and did find some turkey to make a wrap with mayo & cheese around 6pm. It was a fun day.
I love this photo. At the top.
I don’t like being sick. I don’t like complaining & being negative about everything, or anything. I had a great time. It was so much fun. I’ll post pictures later. Being sick is the balls. Who gets a cold in the summer.
I am still sore — and yesterday I took a rest day (real one). This week I’ve been constantly tired — after work naps, sleeping in until the last possible moment — I worried I wasn’t eating the right fuel for my recently committed levels of fitness.
I was legit starting to worry that I might be depressed.
Sleeping all the time.
Just not feeling like my normal self.
Turns out, my boss accidentally refilled the espresso maker with decaf coffee beans. It was just caffeine deficiency/withdrawals. Damn. (This wasn’t even the first time it happened.)
Now I trust no one. I’ll have to come up with a backup caffeine plan.
But now it’s Friday — and I am home — and I have my OWN espresso maker! A-HA!
Everything is right again in the world. It wasn’t a pretty week lol. I am much better now.