With Generosity



“Let us forget with generosity those who cannot love us.” — Pablo Neruda

One of my most favorite quotes. I always feel relieved when I see this. Sometimes I feel so overwhelmed, with anxiety, over things I can’t control or change. Anxious, when looking at an unsure future, just like everyone else has. I don’t like not knowing. But not everything is up to me, or mine to control. I don’t have to be perfect, or have a perfect life. I don’t even have to have an idea of what I’m doing. I can move on, move along — which is what everyone else does, naturally. My life doesn’t have to be this fight. I can be happy as is. This helps remind me.

When I feel alone, all I want to do is continue being alone. It makes me feel back in control. When it’s my choice, it’s not so bad. I can be alone. I can be happy alone, even. I feel pretty alone. I’m learning the rest.

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Beep Boop Bop


WordPress tells me this morning –

“Happy Anniversary! You registered on WordPress.com 5 years ago!”

I didn’t realize it was even October until I got to work.

5 years. That’s insane.

I felt a little weird this morning anyway. Now I just feel sad.

Ugh. I am so sentimental.

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Summer Is Over, Boo

California June 268_a

Hiiieeeee website friends. Summer is over! It’s official next Tuesday, but I’m calling it now. But I’m pretty happy actually, because while I love, love, love my summers — I equally love fall.

I love summers for the brief idea that I could live somewhere warm, and beautiful, and sunny all the time. Where I might actually have a tan, wear very little most of the day, go swimming at the beach and have little beach bum babies.  I am happiest outdoors, somewhere, with my friends & a beer in my hand.

But fall — fall reminds me that I love it here. Fall is my home. Warm sweaters, the trees change colors, the days get crisp and cool and you get a lot more opportunities to hold hands and cuddle up. Hot coffees & hot cocoa. Comfort food, and sure, beers too. I’m non-discriminative against any seasonal beer drinking, even if summer is best.

And pumpkins. Pumpkins pumpkins pumpkins. Yay, pumpkins!!

I’m a happy kid here during fall. Back to earth, back to the Pacific Northwest – I do love it here. In fact — spoiler alert, but being in love still with my husband & thinking that I’ll keep him, this fall marks 10 years of that exact sentiment. And with that idea in general, I think the decided plan is to celebrate with a trip back home to Eugene, where we met 10 years ago this November. I think it’s the sweetest thing. I love Oregon and going back home, every once in a while. It’s romantic. Maybe we’ll make it into a mini road trip, see all the places where we fell in love (ah shucks, that’s a little sappy even for me). I’m pretty excited actually, thinking about it now! Honest, the only bad part about 10 years together, is the realization I’ve aged 10 years already. Yikes. And he just keeps getting better looking.

Anyway. I have been so awful about writing, I don’t even know if I should try to catch up, or just start fresh. As always, the summer was wo-o-o-nderful, but I really can’t believe it really honestly is over. We didn’t go swimming, or boating, or real-camping, or road tripping, or any real local outdoors exploring or hiking or etc etc, which is a super disappointment actually. We did go to California, we got the new fence up & done (which really, is like a vacation on its own — $$$) — and of course, new baaaaaby finally here (!!!). So we spent lots of time with friends, BBQs and dinners and HH’s and beers. It’s been really busy, actually. Fall should mean a bit of a slow down — I won’t complain, this time. I feel like I need more dedicated nap time. Haha. Let’s make that happen.

Um. I can’t think of what else to write about for now. I haven’t had any coffee today. I’ve already been to barre earlier this morning (hungover, which was super fun), and we meet back up for yoga later today (switching up my weight lifting routine – starting hurting again, so a temporary break). I feel very busy. Very happy, and a decent amount of tired.

P.S. I went back to dark (dark-dark hair). I ordered two (two!) wood photo prints of the house – one of the photo above, and another of a wedding pic. I bought a bunch of new clothes, but still have to manage some returns. But –booties! Yay! It’s getting pretty fancy around here. And I have a pumpkin, right here on my desk. Happy Friday, everyone!!


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Only Neglected


Oh. Poor website. You are so, sorely, neglected.

Everything has been so busy.

I miss writing.

Miss you, website.

And yes. I should be working. Shut up, website.

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My Dream House. Is For Sale. 4 Years Later.





My house is for sale.


They re-did everything.

Everything. For the recently reduced price of 469,950?! 429,000 (listing). From the 190k it sold for in 2010, right before I fell in love with it — and the 303k it sold for after that, almost exactly a year later, right after we bought our current home.

My heart is breaking. Just holy shit.


I can’t believe I even stumbled upon this. My whole world has shifted lol.

The literally did *everything I said* that it needed, 4 years ago, when I talked myself out of wanting the house.


They upgraded my perfect home.

My incredible, unique, historical house.

They did everything it needed, and made it nothing special.


And, worst of all:

They never built that civic center.


Breakups aren’t supposed to hurt this long after.

Oh. Grand, great remorse.


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Oh my god. I laughed. Then I felt bad. Then I giggled.

P.S. follow-up from the comic strip author, omg.

More giggling.

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I’ve Been Drinking.. Watermelon

IMG_20140730_210423 Snapchat-20140730090216 Snapchat-20140730090219

This life is good.

And p.s. — welcome to my photo blog, eh? I talk too much anyway, I’m starting to like the absence of my own voice, hehe. And my voice is still sore from the concert Wednesday. SUCH A GREAT SHOW!

And now I’m ready for a slow, quiet, sunny weekend (fingers crossed — it’s overcast out now). Hello, August. Another fast year.. scary how fast time goes by. I’m actually looking forward to a weekend with no plans, just to have a chance to slow down and do nothing. Lee was just talking earlier this week about this summer, and how we haven’t had nearly the amount of lazy beers and sunshine as last summer, but we’ve had so many more adventures instead, and the adventures have been pretty damn good. So — onto (at least) one last great month of summer!

Of course I’m not happy it’s already August. It’s hard to literally grasp how much has changed since this time last August, how it’s already been another year, another summer! But even though my summer is quickly slipping through my fingers, I’m happy, still. The sunshine makes me a happy person. It’s really that simple. (So psst — sunshine, come back out already would ya).

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And Oh — P.S. <3

I’ve been married for 7 years. I love him.





Bonus video commentary:

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Mondays are hard. Coffee is good. I need some coffee.

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This is the most stunning, hauntingly beautiful song I’ve ever heard. We sat outside under the stars and I listened to it over, and over, and over again.

This morning I woke up from a dream that should have been sad. Months ago & I would’ve been devastated, all that work, back to the start. But it’s just a dream.

Just a bad dream.

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